Wednesday, January 2, 2013

103 degrees of optimism.

There's something to be said about the power of optimism. I'm just not sure what it is yet, so I'm gonna start writing to try to get to the bottom of it.

New Year's Eve is undoubtedly my favorite night of the entire year, but in trying to make plans for this glorious occasion, I quickly discovered that my affliction is a rare one. It's actually my first New Year being single, so I wanted to get the biggest group of my favorite people together for dancing, drinks and meeting strangers. Most people had the same response, "it's a night with such high expectations that someone always ends up mad or disappointed."


My brain could not comprehend...I don't recall a December 31st on which I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of shiny newness. There has never been a person, or a thing, or an event that could take away the magic of my favorite night. So imagine my surprise when I woke up on the morning of my favorite day feeling ever so slightly awful.

I took the day off and tried to nap throughout the day so I could make it to a party I had purchased some not-very-cheap tickets to. I put on my party pants [well, my party dress that I'd been waiting half a year to wear on this very night] and with an impending sense of doom I braved the cold, the crowd and the craziness. I woke up the next morning feeling about as bad as it gets. Most people just assumed it was the "bottle flu" so I went with it, despite having maybe 4 drinks between the hours of 7:30pm and 1:30am.

 Oh heck no, the morning of January 2nd, I tested positive for Influenza Type A with a high risk for pneumonia, due to the condition of my now very damaged, untreated lungs. Now maybe it's just me, but it would SEEM my New Year parade was being rained on. And the storm isn't expected to let up for another 5-7 days.

You're not gonna buy this, but I don't think the flu could have hit at a more perfect time [ok, yes it could have waited until I regained some PTO at work]. Since I was already in a period immense happiness, it's been really difficult to get me down. Through all the pain, chills, aches, loneliness, coughs, and through one moment of genuine concern that I was going to incinerate my pillow with the temperature of my skin, I have tried to remain optimistic. And optimism has given me the opportunity to pick out the perks of being sick, rather than to just focus on how deathly I feel.

1 - Between Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts, I gained quite a few lbs. But between my loss of appetite and my cough, I have dropped the extra pounds and I'm getting a 20 hour/day ab workout. Super head start on the weight loss resolution this year.

2 - I have watched at least half of my favorite movies so far and have spent some really great quality time with my kindle. This has created a very peaceful start to my year, during which would otherwise be quite the hectic week. Sometimes you just need an excuse to veg with movies and books for a few days in order to maintain sanity on a long term basis.

3 - This one may seem backhanded, but you know how I like to turn negatives into positives...isn't that the essence of optimism anyway? I've had to tackle this flu for the most part on my own. Now if you're reading this and you're one of my friends who has offered to bring me literally anything I need, it has not gone unnoticed. But what I'm getting at is that in times like these it's really hard to be a thousand miles away from your parents and your home. I've never been this sick without my mom and dad in the next room, and doing this alone has shown me just how much independent strength I've gained since moving to Colorado. And I only broke down emotionally once, just a little bit.

4 - A week or so ago, after I somewhat failed my own date detox in December, I drunkenly agreed to do a structured date detox with my friend Kristie. The closer we got to January 1st, the more I regretted this agreement. But after this flu passes, I will be one week into the detox. And three weeks of not dating doesn't sound nearly as bad as four. I think at this time next week, I will be pretty accustomed to spending every waking moment alone in my bed with my TV/books. [Future blog post to come, this should be interesting]

5 - This one is similar to the last in that I need to get used to staying in. But, one of my New Year's resolutions is to save money and other than my tab at Walgreens, I'd say a week of no exposure to the universe is a decent jumping off point.

So, I guess I just want to say thank you, flu, for promoting all of my resolutions right from the start. I probably, literally wouldn't have done it without you.

**Disclaimer: If none of this makes sense at all, the combination of drugs in my system and my high grade fever have induced quite a bit of lethargy in my brain. My apologies.**

1 comment:

  1. You rock!!!! And optimism is one of my most favorite "Christian virtues"'s way better than just being perky or too dense to notice bad stuff. Optimism sees bad stuff and says, "yeah..I can overcome even this". Smooooooch! Rhoda