Tuesday, December 18, 2012

a year in the life.

In the spirit of holiday cards...here is my version:

I never dreamed 2012 would bring so much change to my life, but it has and I feel great about it. So much has happened, in fact, that I utilized my ever-handy Facebook timeline to assist me in remembering this momentous year. Let's just start with:

January: So apparently I started the year with my heart full of love for my live-in boyfriend and my recently destructive dog (Cato), a lot of thoughts on NFL playoffs and a lingering homesickness for Texas and my family. These were my New Year's Resolutions. [And for the record, I am only lacking four. Three of which, I will let remain a mystery. And I will never stop liking the Kardashians.] January was all together uneventful, just as it should be.

February: There's no way to explain February without an inevitable over-share, so if that makes you uncomfortable, skip to March. Or just all the way to 2013. [Like I said, this year's been a roller coaster.] February was the beginning of the end of my relationship. We realized now, more than ever, the differences in our life goals and interests. This resulted in the overcompensation and exhaustion that often comes with trying to 'make it work'. We did a lot of fun activities, but I can't say that I really had much fun in February. Also Green Bay didn't make it to the Super Bowl. Anticlimactic. 

March: What to say about March. The final fleeting attempts at making a relationship work. Many sleepless nights. Reconnecting with old friends to feel some connection. 'Draw Something' app addiction. Cato finally becomes less destructive after a long winter of his favorite activity: playing in the snow.

April: My four-year relationship saga comes to an end...on April Fool's Day. Irony? I don't know. April certainly hurt, but despite the pain, the most notable part of April [and possibly my entire year] was the friendship that came from this breakup. I turned twenty-four and was thrown the most incredible birthday party. It wasn't fancy or flashy, but the turnout was overwhelming. I didn't know that my social web in Denver had grown so quickly. I had only lived here ten months, but I would say April 14th was the day Denver went from my city to my home.

May: Started the month snuggling with my now panic-stricken dog and watching 'He's Just Not That Into You' just about every night. But I made the most of my new friendship bonds and finally, I emerged from my sad, single hole into the glorious dating world people here refer to as, 'Menver'. Now let me point out that I had never been single in my adult life, at least for any great length of time, so this is when things got interesting. First dates are the worst.

June: Summer! Every weekend was the same, spent tossing the frisbee in the park and rarely going indoors. I celebrated one year living in Denver. I could not believe the changes that had occurred, but was excited to spend my first month in my new basement apartment. What a fun story that turned out to be. I guess I didn't spend much time in said apartment. I traveled to Austin, Vail and spent the majority of warm summer nights out exploring Denver.

July: I finally discovered my affliction for hiking. Along with afflictions for free epic concerts, not coming home to an unholy dog disaster nightly and barely getting any sleep. I spent a lot of time in Boulder and a lot of time up past 2am. [Usually cleaning up something that had been destroyed, eaten or pooped on.] You can tell I'm really getting in over my head with dog problems right about now. I wish I could write more about June, but those nights awake past 2am tend to escape the memory. Summer 2012, you were too much fun.

August: This is about the time I started to get the feeling my basement apartment was not as incredible as it seemed. It was guarded by three vicious dogs that took to biting me as I walked in and out daily. My social life was suffering as I was afraid to leave my apartment for anything other than work. And my friends surely weren't coming to my house. Hence the short summary.

September: September was magical. My entire extended family visited Denver for a wedding and the world never felt so aligned. At least since the last time my family had all been in one place at one time.  If there is one thing that reminds you how much you value your family, it's moving away from them. I ended September raising money for and walking in my second annual Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk. I was flooded with the happiest memories of my grandad and felt incredibly blessed by the support we received that night.

October: This is where my heart breaks for the second time in the year. After endless attempts at making Cato's life more consistent I finally realized that there was something missing dynamically and the fit between us was not right. I made the relentlessly painful decision to find a new home for Cato. I can still feel the heaviness in my chest that I felt that day every time I see a picture of him or say his name, but I know I made the right decision for both of us. Oh yeah, also I moved out of that dungeonous basement and started totally fresh in a park-side high-rise. So yes, I've lived at three addresses this year.

November: I think it would be fair to say after such a tumultuous year, November gave me more clarity about who I am and what I want than I've had in my life at any point prior. I've got an incredibly vast network of friends, I'm having success in my career, I'm defining my goals for the future and even on rough days, I'm able to find beauty and give thanks. 

December: As the year is coming to an end, I am looking forward to taking a week off in Texas with my parents, brothers and dogs, to relax and plan for the new year. I am lucky to start the year with new-found clarity, yet I am looking forward to all of the unknown that 2013 will bring. I feel like if there's one quality I've strengthened this year, it's my adaptability, and I'm endlessly thankful to those who have supported me through all of this change.

Until next time-

Happy Holidays from the Mountains

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